Hmmology – episode 22: What’s Love Got to Do With it?

To get the full story, start with EPISODE 1

‘I have a feeling that we might be looking at the world through slightly different lenses’, Bifidus enunciated, carefully rounding out the more complicated sounding words, while keeping her gestures to a bare minimum, so as not to distract my  obviously slow self. It was fun to see just how unsettled my little friend was at the idea of me being stupid, but as I evil as I pictured myself being on any odd day, I couldn’t make the poor guy waste precious minutes of his life with diction.

horrors of diction
Source: Fertile Ground

‘Glad you’re finally entertaining that notion, my friend’, I said, sarcasm lain thickly. ‘Now, what the hell are you on about’, I asked, then added, striking a more conciliatory tone ‘I mean, more specifically’.

‘You know how you get that feeling something is missing and it’s a bit like hunger. only it doesn’t go away even if you try to silence it with some biscuits and gem?’

‘Or tea’, I felt like I needed to add,  `what is wrong with a perfectly nice cup of tea?`

hamster in a cup
Source: Lottie

‘Right. So, that’s like the lack of purpose. And just because you live a lot less than others, doesn’t mean you are immune to it. It’s just that there is this huge pressure to live your short life to the fullest, with total disregard for how scary it is to have so much fun without any point to it.’

‘But isn’t having fun kind of like the point of it all?’ I ventured, knowing though that I was urinating against the hurricane of self-doubt I had previously unleashed. Sometimes, your mouth gets the best of you. It’s just as well, since I cannot think of any other part of your body that has ever uttered anything remotely reasonable or, for that matter, articulate. And no, don’t tell me about all those other messages… body language doesn’t count!

stupid things to say
Source: Simon Blackley

Meanwhile, Bifidus was glaring at me like you would at a knob of butter that had one thing to do – neatly melt atop your toast – and still managed to mess that up.

‘For fuck’s sake, Z! I’ve just come round to your previously stated idea and now you’re U-turning on my stubby tail? Not, fair, man!’ He was definitely frustrated. I could tell that from the way she was trying to bite at his bangs.

‘OK, so all fun and no purpose makes Jack a weary hamster. How does love help though?’

‘Well, it sort of… fills you up’, she said and I had to really bite down on my lower lip in order to suppress the barrage of innuendos I could add to that. I took a deep… breath though and asked: ‘What with?’

pumpkin
Source: Fabio Venni

‘With itself, I guess… so you don’t feel the hole anymore.’

‘Wait, weren’t you just raving about holes a few minutes ago?`

This was so much fun…

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