To get the full story, start with EPISODE 1
‘It is fascinating though’, Bifidus intervened dreamily ‘how much of the stuff that goes into being a human is devoid of verbs.’
That seemed just a bit out of the blue. It looked as if an ideation can-of-worms had been opened and it reeked bad enough to bring a whole jumbo jet down.
‘What do you mean by that?’ seemed like the least stupid thing to say under those particular circumstances.
B looked around for a few seconds, sniffing with eyes-closed. Eventually, she came upon a half-eaten apple which had all the bearings of a juice ad casting reject that just couldn’t handle life anymore and resorted to self-harm to numb the pain of failure. Peckish birds had done the rest. My hamster friend was simply putting an end to a life of misery. At least, that’s how I think fruitarians rationalize it. Chomp, chomp! These are the sounds of the final release for some. The canines and incisors at the other end of the tunnel.
Bifidus resumed her reasoning:
‘If you think about it, there is comparatively very little in the way of acting out things and a lot of life is filled with monologue or idle chatter. I mean, it’s mostly humans who know a lot of fancy verbs but only use them to move around made-up things inside their minds.’
‘Are you trying to tell me something?’ I was turning suspicious.
Bifidus scratched at the soft tuft of hair atop his head.
‘Well, I don’t know. I guess it just all seems very counterintuitive.’
‘That they should be doing so well as a species. It’s a humans’ world, after all! So all that tinkering with words and thoughts inside their brain-boxes seems to pay-off in the end, doesn’t it?’
Well, I never… the little mite had just begun cogitating and she was advancing in leaps and bounds. Maybe the gods do indeed have a special role for rodents.
‘Are you extolling the virtues of thinking, B?’
”Oh, fop off! Would it kill you to not be so condescending?’
I clearly was, but that didn’t take away from the pleasure of just out-and-out denying it.
‘Yeah, and it’s not really funny. Of course, this isn’t news to you. You live for frigging eons. Your kind has enough time to think about these things and even get bored. I mean, really, talk about the height of luxury! Thinking about thinking! Do you even understand how lucky you are?’
He was foaming at both corners of his tiny mouth.
‘Oh, okay… so I guess I’m lucky now. eh? Lucky that I get to live long enough to ask myself questions that slowly – but I can assure you, quite effectively – cast doubt over everything, until you are so paralyzed with ennui you cannot muster the power to tip milk into your bowl of cereals!’
Bifidus opened her mouth to shout a reply at me, stopped for a second, wrinkling her forehead in confusion.
‘Why were you having cereals, man?’
That is indeed a question that should stun any grown man into silence.