Hmmology – episode 27: Cogitation intensifies

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‘It is fascinating though’, Bifidus intervened dreamily ‘how much of the stuff that goes into being a human is devoid of verbs.’

That seemed just a bit out of the blue. It looked as if an ideation can-of-worms had been opened and it reeked bad enough to bring a whole jumbo jet down. Continue reading “Hmmology – episode 27: Cogitation intensifies”

Hmmology – episode 26: The Audacity of ‘Decent Enough’

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‘Why do they do this?’ Bifidus asked with a flat tone of voice that felt rather scary.

‘Do what?’

‘Why give a creature a need for a purpose only to then have the rest of its life prove no purpose can be good enough?’

‘Oh, B… they’re nothing but humans. And look, we probably just spent too much time on two feet. Tell you what, let’s do some serious detox, eh? No more humaning for the rest of the week. You’ll forget about this whole mess just like that!’ Continue reading “Hmmology – episode 26: The Audacity of ‘Decent Enough’”

Hmmology – episode 25: Dream A Little Dream (Watermelon version)

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Of course, I’ve used the tried and tested method of blaming it all – or most of it – on her. And one does get a few crazy-ex jokes out of it. But when you stop and think about it for a bit, it just makes you sad. Because you either admit to unjustly vilifying someone in order to feel better – you pathetic buffoon! – or you face the fact that you don’t know what the heck got into you for spending so much time with them in the first place and would someone just please make the memory of those years go away?! Continue reading “Hmmology – episode 25: Dream A Little Dream (Watermelon version)”

Hmmology – episode 24: It Takes Two to Tango but Only One Idiot to Fall in Love

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I had never seen B look so small before. Maybe it was my imagination, but she looked slightly folded in on herself. It’s notoriously difficult for small things to look small because most of their energy is spent making the world around them fit their own size so you don’t notice any discrepancy. If anything, they end up larger than everyone else because, unlike all of those around them, they haven’t actually changed a bit. But this time the world had not had its ears boxed and told to be a good little girl. So it had just gone on with its usual liberated woman proportions and was by now probably considering burning its bra.

Continue reading “Hmmology – episode 24: It Takes Two to Tango but Only One Idiot to Fall in Love”

Hmmology – episode 7: Zip it!

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‘Sooo…. care for some mustard?’, I said, trying to change the subject.

‘Meh… why not? Hit me up.’

Chomping away at that particularly delicious dog, I suddenly noticed a figure, frantically waving in the distance.

‘Say, who’s that guy?’ Continue reading “Hmmology – episode 7: Zip it!”

Hmmology – episode 4: Life… and how you learn to ignore it

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‘So, how’s life in the living statue business, buddy?`

This was the question-in-lieu-of-a-greeting used by one of the shaggy dogs from Zeus’ entourage who would come by every three days, sporting a different coiffeur of caked mud on his head. I probably should remember his name, but I refuse to do so with creatures that wash biennially. A wash a year, keeps the friends near. Continue reading “Hmmology – episode 4: Life… and how you learn to ignore it”

Hmmology – episode 3: Bane of Zeus

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As a deity, you know you’ve hit rock bottom when pets get named after you. But you know you’ve really gone magmatic when you share a fallen deity’s name with your neighbors’ pet. I wasn’t always called Coco, my name used to be Zeus… Continue reading “Hmmology – episode 3: Bane of Zeus”

Hmmology -episode 1: Towers are good listeners

… I remember she looked at me for a few seconds – after staring into the distance, inviting the wind to play with some stray strands so as to create an overall effect of her being a very deep and mysterious person, the sort you feel has an allure, even though they really needn’t bother since what makes them attractive to you is something far less complicated and more lacking in Latin, Greek or French words than they would care for – and finally said: Continue reading “Hmmology -episode 1: Towers are good listeners”