Hmmology – episode 27: Cogitation intensifies

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‘It is fascinating though’, Bifidus intervened dreamily ‘how much of the stuff that goes into being a human is devoid of verbs.’

That seemed just a bit out of the blue. It looked as if an ideation can-of-worms had been opened and it reeked bad enough to bring a whole jumbo jet down. Continue reading “Hmmology – episode 27: Cogitation intensifies”

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Hmmology – episode 26: The Audacity of ‘Decent Enough’

To get the full story, start with EPISODE 1

‘Why do they do this?’ Bifidus asked with a flat tone of voice that felt rather scary.

‘Do what?’

‘Why give a creature a need for a purpose only to then have the rest of its life prove no purpose can be good enough?’

‘Oh, B… they’re nothing but humans. And look, we probably just spent too much time on two feet. Tell you what, let’s do some serious detox, eh? No more humaning for the rest of the week. You’ll forget about this whole mess just like that!’ Continue reading “Hmmology – episode 26: The Audacity of ‘Decent Enough’”

Hmmology episode 23: Love – The Itch that Dare not Scratch Itself

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‘They added some shredded book pages to your sawdust, didn’t they?’ I asked with a smirk slapped across my face.

‘They were the classics, man’, Bifidus went.

‘That doesn’t make them right, though.’

‘Thousands upon thousands of novelists and poets can’t be wrong about love’, he protested.

‘Really? Well, since we’ve decided on establishing truth by sheer numbers, I guess you’ll be having lunch with the flies then. No reason why you should object to their culinary preferences’. I felt very smart. Continue reading “Hmmology episode 23: Love – The Itch that Dare not Scratch Itself”

Hmmology – episode 20: About Plots as a Stringent Necessity

say what?

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Perhaps I was being unfair and it was up to me to break this task into reasonably-sized morsels. It’s not that surprising after all that these poor fellows have a pathological fear of long-term plans. It stands to reason when you’re bound to push up the daisies in a couple of years.

Then again, it’s not like humans are that much better at making plans, even though we practically live for eons by hamster standards. Actually, from a rodent point of view, humanity is quite useless. All that lifespan and what have we to show for it? Continue reading “Hmmology – episode 20: About Plots as a Stringent Necessity”

Hmmology – episode 18: The Little Paws That Could

Douche pride

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‘Right, so’, Bifidus interjected ‘I got my life goal, whether you agree with it or not. What d’you got then?’

‘A name to live up to’, I said sulkily.

Perhaps this was the quest that would drag me out of the ridicule zone. Something noble and brave to make this four letter word that was my name pleasantly roll off of mammals’ tongues. Because yes, there is such a thing as fame in the animal kingdom. And if a dog can become famous for its acts of bravery and selflessness, then –  by Jove – so can I! Not exactly bulletproof logic there, but at the time it seemed very reasonable.

Continue reading “Hmmology – episode 18: The Little Paws That Could”

Hmmology – episode 17: Everybody wants to be a… dog?

Brush attack

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My true form. People – and, apparently, most other animals as well – talk a lot about things as if they knew what the hell they actually meant. In fact, what happens is that they’re stupid. Irredeemable so, most of them. Dumb parental fornicators, as they are known in more refined circles. Now, I still possess some dangling bits of decency, thus I shall take my rightful place in the above chastised group of cretins. But, now that I’ve admitted to and embraced my being an utter idiot, I feel I’ve earned the right to expand this topic a bit. Thusly ends my full disclaimer. Continue reading “Hmmology – episode 17: Everybody wants to be a… dog?”